


Sanctuary of the wicked

by helenaamell



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Porn With Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24100321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenaamell/pseuds/helenaamell
Summary: The dragonborn has developed a crush on Nazir, dealing with the missions he puts on her she finds herself at a loss on how to deal with the guilt of killing on contract. The question of whether to leave the brotherhood or stick around for the sake of the man shes grown to love grows all the more relevant.
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Nazir
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22





	1. The Guilt

She’d come to neglect her duties the longer her interest went on, a girlish urge for him to _notice_ her. It was silly really, they worked well enough together, in a sense they lived together. But time had made that itching feeling she felt deep down, turn into more of an _ache._  
  
It made itself particularly known whenever she had to talk to him, she found herself playing with one of her long blonde locks like one of the girls she remembered seeing as a kid, hoping to ever so subtly grab the attention of a boy she’d found herself interested in.  
  
Remembering how she herself had found the whole thing silly she scoffed at her own behavior now as an adult, finding herself all the more often having more and more vivid fantasies of him pinning her down, fucking her into the floor with one of his dark rugged hands covering her mouth, offering her a finger or two to entwine with her tongue, to suck on, to lick, to treat like the most delicious of treats so he would somehow get a hint at how much she yearned for his cock. Like a wanton whore, wanting no more than to submit under his touch.  
  
She wanted to know what he tasted like, wanted to drag her tongue along his much darker skin and find her way around whichever parts made him _tick._ She wondered if he’d make any sounds, or if he was like she’d heard men to be, ever quiet.  
  
Sat down in one of the many chairs surrounding the table in the heart of the sanctuary – was it technically the heart? To her it most certainly was, but that thought alone made her roll her eyes at her own juvenile lines of thought.  
  
He was speaking to her about something, no doubt was it _incredibly_ important but for some reason her brain just refused to work with her, instead she found herself all the more focused on the movements of his fingers.  
  
  
“Hey? You paying attention or you got a wound on your head somewhere, you’re looking dumber than usual?” His voice’s low tone rang through her fantasy, interrupting her beautiful reverie to expose the truth before her – which was that he was an absolute asshole.  
  
Biting her lip absentmindedly, finding her eyes drawn to his suddenly she simply smiled.  
  
“You’re an asshole, know that?” She muttered, causing an incredibly sexy half smile to form along his dark, chapped lips.  
  
“Had the student had more brain and less libido maybe I would’ve been kinder.” He spoke clearly, cruelly, exposing her to them both without a single thought of consideration for her poor much lighter cheeks which had now turned a bright red in response to his words.  
  
She’d been caught, her shame mixing with her arousal making for a confusing albeit delicious mixture in the lower parts of her stomach.  
  
Choosing to call his bluff she simply scoffed, muttering under her breath “if only the master wasn’t such a stick up my ass figuratively and took the more literal route..”  
  
The small sense of shame still lingering in her mind despite her line of work made itself all the more known as she felt the sense of shame sink in slowly, his silence remaining as a response to a question remaining unanswered.  
  
Working in this field, killing people for septims, she’d found herself in situations where she’d found herself emotionless in the face of murder. But somehow a girlish part of her could still see the way their chemistry left her breathless, he wasn’t a nord, hell he wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met before.  
  
But god was he exciting, the way his passion could almost be felt through his words alone, how he saw a goal and could make anyone around him want for the same thing – for him if nothing else.  
  
She felt partially ashamed for her vivid fantasies of him plunging into her wet, _aching_ cunt. But she also felt he was the best choice her mind had made as far as men were considered since forever. He was a good man, albeit a complicated one, a man with a goal above just finding the right woman which was rare where she was from.  
  
But Nazir, he seemed different in his own right, a man as foreign to her as the feelings she felt gathering in her chest as well as her now all the more aching cunt.  
  
Would she ever dare to act on these carnal feelings of need, more importantly would she be able to express the deeper feelings she felt inside? She couldn’t say honestly, it would mean leaving herself vulnerable. Kissing those gorgeously dark lips of his, telling him how much she yearned for him – god was it hard.  
  
She once more tried to listen to his words, demands of what was to be done and what she needed to be aware of to continue. Somehow her ears stopped functioning whenever she found a piece of him to focus on, his deep brown eyes, his thick, dark curls hidden beneath the scarf he wore on his head.  
  
There simply was no use, she walked out of the sanctuary biting her lip in frustration. Life had taught her caution came before trust, and as much as she suddenly yearned to be more casual sexually, she could do no more than be cautious- it was kinder on both of them.  
  
  
The mission was simple, kill the target and get out without being seen, or alternatively pay off a guard who’d seen more than they were supposed to. It was as routine a mission as an assassin could’ve expected, problem was that the target in question was the brother of her most favorite Whiterun inkeep Elindir, Anoriath. She’d been stalking him across the plains outside Whiterun for longer than she’d actually needed to, she didn’t _want_ to kill him after all. But it was her job, you couldn’t blame a blade for the way it was swung after all, or atleast that’s what she tried telling herself as she strung her shaky bow in the direction of her target. She could spot the top of his reddish blonde head as he himself stalker a doe on the horizon, he would understand the need to kill for necessity, wouldn’t he? The wood along her fingertips, the slight ruggedness beneath her fingerprints acted as a steadying agent. She closed her eyes, mumbling a small prayer to Talos to keep the wood elf safe in whichever afterlife his people were brought to as she let go of her arrow.  
  
She had struck her target, as focused a hunter as he was he must’ve been ill prepared for his role as a potential prey. Atleast she told herself as much as she put him on his back with his arms crossed as she watched the deer he had stalked run off happily in the corner of her eye.  
  
Silently she hoped for Elindir never to know his brother had fallen by the hands of someone else she stood up beside the body figuring out how to hide the obvious arrow wound at the side of his neck.  
  
Making her way back to the sanctuary she felt her shoulders slumped, somehow besides telling Astrid she was made from the right cloth she still felt shit about killing anyone she’d had the unfortune of knowing beforehand. Elindir was a good man in her book, happy to see anyone not Nordic walk into Whiterun and giving them a warm welcome. Why his brother had upset someone she couldn’t say, but what she did know was that she’d made his day that much dimmer.  
  
Her crush felt all the more stupid, all the more unworthy, was she even worthy of affection in any form after this? She couldn’t say. But as she fell into her bed back into the stoney sanctuary, surrounded by the sounds of pebbles falling down the walls and Arnbjorns incessant battling with his stupid fake target practice dummies she fell asleep while filled with both anxiety and anger.


	2. Giving in

The sanctuary held a constant rumbling sound around her, something most residents within its walls had to simply learn to get comfortable with. Small gravels of the rock above them cascading down as the outside world rumbled.  
  
Emotions, lust, love(?), all of that felt miles away when down beneath the earths crust. She reached down for her pouch, looking for something calming to make sleep come to her easier, having learned some simple alchemy during her meetings with Gabriella and Babette.  
  
Shrugging her head of blonde locks that she had arranged in various forms of braids she looked around the upper floor of the small back of the sanctuary common room. Looking down on the table Nazir usually kept to, he seemed nowhere to be found now however, usually he was assigning her various missions as well as looks sweet enough to make her knees buckle – why was she so obsessive about him? Was it simply because that he was a redguard? Was it simply because of his dark features and foreign nature that drew her in again and again?  
  
Her question remained unanswered in her head, instincts said no, she’d had lovers before, well _a_ lover would be the more correct way of putting it. The logical part of her reminded her of her trip to Whiterun and her meetings with both Nazeem and Amren, neither of whom had had any sort of similar reaction created within her – although Nazeem had made her blood boil on more than one occasion but for _entirely_ other reasons, the cloud district was a small walk away, what was that guys problem anyway? But Nazir alone held some sort of twisted power over her mind, a crush perhaps?  
  
There were a few facts about Nazir she knew, one being how he despised the bitter cold the land of Skyrim was known for. Why he had been brought here she couldn’t say, most redguard arrived to Dawnstar by boat as tradesmen but he didn’t seem the type for selling. She knew he had a sweettooth and their relationship had blossomed from her picking up on how he usually had some sort of sweets surrounding him whenever she came to him for assignments.  
  
Her infatuation had started with her leaving her different kinds of homemade pastries around his table, it was a small thing she knew from home and while she was too proud to let him know their origin she knew him to be infuriatingly intelligent, and she found him smirking at her whenever they made eye contact since she started leaving them around for him.  
  
That small interaction, the way their hands would touch briefly as he handed her a dossier, the way his voice seemed to run down her spine like the softest of touches causing her to shiver unnaturally in response – it was enough to make her chest flutter and she _hated_ it as much as she loved it, mostly because of just how powerless it made her feel.  
  
Not wanting him to know, not wanting to show vulnerability, those were both newfound fears she hadn’t had to deal with in a very long time.  
  
But one thing she’d always found comfort in was that if she initiated something, if she put her cards on the table against someone she didn’t understand, she would have her answer clear as day regarding if they were a person worth understanding.  
  
She considered whether she should come out and just let it be known to him how she felt, to figure out if this was just a simple girlish fantasy or if it was – no she couldn’t even allow herself to finish that train of thought. No more time should be left wasted on childish insecurities, she needed to just have it be done with, a no would hurt but it would allow her to deal with it before it would cause further problems.  
  
The newfound determination led her to try and find out where he was hiding, he wasn’t at his usual spot at his table awaiting any poor sod wanting a mission for him to tease them about – god was he sexy, she wanted to punch those well chiseled cheekbones in out of the sheer excitement they caused her. He spent so much time working on his muscles it caused her to forget where her tongue was inside her mouth. She wasn’t usually one to value a man based on his musclemass but his passion in everything he did made her weak at the knees.  
  
Looking, searching, her in-house manhunt turning all the more maniacal as the rooms of the stone clad home she’d found herself in upon accident ran out of rooms, and her anxiety grew stronger. It was as if a demon fueled by her own impulsion alone kept driving her forward.  
  
Where could he be holding up, the man rarely, if ever, saw the sun if he could help it, despite his ever bronze-like complexion, she had no fucking clue what he spent his days doing as their interactions were usually made up of her running inside, receiving a mission and then promptly running back out like a simple errand girl delivering packages.  
  
She found herself in a training room as her search turned more desperate, it was much like the one where Arnbjorn seemed to spend every waking minute, calling anyone and everything alive around him after any cut of meat of his choice that day, like he was the most dangerous of predators with all the executionary ability of the grindstone he seemed glued to.  
  
Her sudden adrenaline spurred bravery quickly faded as she sat down by one of the chairs surrounding the table in the area. Allowing herself to fall forward on her knees with her elbows to support her hands she held her head up dejectedly, feeling her emotions, her fears, her old traumas gathering up like a challenge to swallow, _just as she always did._  
  
But this room, it held a different atmosphere, it smelled different, it held a different _musk_ , a scent of spices foreign to her and a presence powerful enough to rethink why this room of all the possible ones in the sanctuary had brought her in.  
  
_This was a horrible decision  
_  
There was a sudden wave of arousal filling her, something she couldn’t explain even though it was so overwhelmingly and mind-numbingly strong. It was as if she had been wrapped in a blanket covered in _his_ scent.  
  
Instinct led her hands to all the zones on her body on which she felt the powerful surge of power to have his hands cover, toy, explore, it was as if a demon had taken over her very being and she struggled to control her own breathing as she crawled on top of the table before her to stretch out much like a cat in heat.  
  
It wasn’t an involuntary action as much as a natural one, but one strong enough where her own shame held no power any longer, it was as if she’d transformed into a wanton whore by his scent _alone_. The solitary environment making her bravery grow stronger as she reached for the straps of her armor to unclasp herself from the ever-restricting confinements holding her back.  
  
She kept imagining him there, exploring, wanting, prodding, making her feel _wanted_ and more importantly _longed_ for. He was ever distant whenever she had tried to get close, he would always draw back even as he’d let her hand on his _linger_.

There was an instinctual part of her already knowing he wouldn’t let her as close as she wanted him to. A part of her sensing that _one_ part of herself that he would hurt, the man was known for his clever tongue. Lingering compliments and longing looks, he wasn’t the type to feel, atleast not as far as anyone could see.  
  
Part of her wanted to hope, part of her wanted to remain realistic. _What’s in a fuck?_  
  
The room remained quiet apart from the few pebbles of rock trickling down the wall somewhere in the background of her own self-indulgent fantasy. All she could see in her own minds eye was his dark brown veiny hands finding their way around her body.  
  
She let her own hands trace along the mounds of her breast as she unclasped her armor, fumbling with annoying locks of blonde as she made her way to the areas most aching for his dark brown eyes to explore. The silence around her suddenly abrupted by her own loud moans as her own knowing fingers found their way to her clit as they had done with him in heir mind so many times before.  
  
Wanting, longing, yearning, were there more words to describe how much she wanted him on top of her?  
  
This passion was as foreign to her as he was, she had never thought of herself as someone with a preference and she still didn’t, but he was a category all of his own.  
  
She fantasized about how his cock would feel filling her, somehow made as if it was structured by a tailor with her wanton cunt in mind. A curve to it hitting her spots like a knowing pro while still not being the sort of man to keep a lot of women just because his looks allowed him to.  
  


Losing herself in her own fantasy she started to become completely unaware of her own surroundings, her soft moans turning into something more wanton, something more shameful. As her mind wandered and her ears closed off she imagined him restraining her, using her, filling her like the whore she had become just for him. There were no longer any consideration regarding her own self preservation or shame, things she could feel deep down would affect her own self-image later on.  
  
Her fingers prodded along her labia, clitoris and her cunts opening, exploring the many spots she knew would leave her all the more soaked and finding a position in which she felt herself somehow disgusted and pleasured all at once. She had just never been one to masturbate as maniacally before now, but there was something about him, about Nazir, it just made her a simple thrall to her own hormones and feelings.  
  
Feeling herself drawing close to a finish she found herself starting to moan his name softly, like a prayer to the gods shed whispered as a child lying in a parental bed. Silent, but loud enough to just barely be heard.  
Nazir, Nazir, Nazir, his name rang softly throughout the sanctuary of the wicked, such as her.  
  
She felt her own end draw closer as her fingers sped up around her clit, fantasies regarding his tongue licking its way through her lips as if she was the sweetest of delicacies consuming her mind and libido like the sweetest of alcohol.  
  
It drew closer, intensely like a poison, leaving no room for sympathies like a lover might have. Her release of her own temporary intoxication pushing her down like a sweet possession, but then her reverie was broken by the cruelest of words she could have thought of in said moment- A slow whistle in her near distance.  
  
She had been caught like a simple teenager exploring their own physique.


	3. Regret or simple fear

Panic was her first instinct, sitting up abruptly and using her one arm to cover her breasts and her other moved to cover her mound. Nothing could quite save her from this incredibly embarrassing situation that she’d found herself in.

She knew the tone of the whistle, knew the rumbling of his soft laughter as if it was as clear of a knowledge as anything she could remember from her upbringing – She’d done something bad.

He’d caught her, redhanded, no excuses just her naked body giving into her own carnal instincts out in the open, on a public space of all things.

Searching for him was supposed to be a way for her to bring herself some sort of dignified closure to her own childish infatuation, it had turned to quite the opposite. Her chest constricted in shame, but something else she had not quite counted on followed suit – tears.

God, could her situation have been more humiliating? Apparently, the gods were not simply satisfied with her pride having taken a massive hit, they wanted to turn it into ashes. She felt big teardrops trickle down her sweat clad cheeks, felt her body turn in on itself. She tried desperately to hide her every limb as close to her body as possible, like a wounded animal trying to display to the possible danger lurking that they had had enough.

Her head hurt, her breathing turned shallow and suddenly she wasn’t a woman begging for satisfaction anymore, but a mere little girl who had made a bet too high for herself to be able to deal with the potential loss she was faced with.

How utterly pathetic, so entirely vulnerable, not even a thread to keep her protected before his dark brown eyes who she for the first time since knowing him couldn’t meet head on.

Hiding her blue eyes behind her hands she did her best to adjust her legs and lean forward as to shield herself from his eyes further as she whispered a soft empty plea “please” she didn’t herself quite know what she was asking for but her sobs growing louder made her deaf to her own surroundings momentarily.

So stupid, so incredibly stupid, she didn’t know what she had been thinking being so brazen, so brave in spite of her own heart clearly being so pathetically weak when push came to shove.

Feeling something soft hitting her body she opened her eyes briefly, seeing a blanket hitting her body, covering her. Looking up she saw the man she had longed for keeping his back turned to her, ever quiet.

There was no way for her to tell if this was an act of repulsion, if it was compassion, he simply never had been the type of man to open up to her enough for her to get a chance to peak into his thoughts.

Maybe it was simply the assassin’s way, keeping people at an arms distance, or maybe he was just the sort to not allow himself to feel. Either way she was grateful for the mercy, in a situation where he had every possibility to mock her playfully as he usually would.

Wrapping herself up to cover her skin, quieting her sobs as best she could in the face of her own humiliation, she struggled to make her way back to her corner of the sanctuary, leaving her newfound nook, the adrenaline pushing her forward but now feeling no bigger in courage than a wounded dog as she made her way back with her tail between her legs.

Her steps on the cold stone echoed loud in her shame filled ears, as she moved as quiet as possible along her regular trail. The fact that it was the middle of the night did not serve as much of a comfort when faced with the fact that she was a tenant of a den of men and women trained to kill.

She made her way back to her bed as quickly as her bare feet would allow her on the stone clad flooring, swallowing her own thoughts as she moved forward, holding back the tears in wait for a safe space without prying ears.

Shame, the ever-growing sense of self hatred, she hadn’t realized just how deep her feelings could reach. She had denied herself human emotion too long, it all spilled out like an overcrowded box stored deep inside a closet.

Finding her bed in the community room didn’t act as much of a comfort, it was too close to where he usually sat.

Covering herself further in more blankets, covering her now slightly sweat clad figure and knowing she wasn’t as vulnerable anymore provided some small level of comfort.

Fighting the urge to scream into her pillow she had entirely forgotten the fact that he lived in the same space, slept in the same space, could see her in that same space.

She looked around herself, realizing she had left her clothing behind in her scurrying away like a teenager caught with her legs open. She hadn’t escaped but simply changed background for her shameful arena.

Her face burrowed down into her pillow, suddenly no more a brave woman on a mission but a mere girl feeling the effects of heartbreak with nowhere to run for safety she felt her tears come back, but with reinforcements.

“You know I did have you figured for a freak, but the tears did catch me off guard.” A soft voice rang through her comfortable silence. She knew that voice all too well and wanted more than anything for it to go away – but her heart ached for it to stay.

Lacking the ferocity that had led her thus far to respond she simply hid further into her own supposed safe space, quiet, pretending not to exist, it was pitiful but it was all she could do to keep herself from running stark naked out into the wilds like a wounded animal.

“You did put on quite a show though, that image wasn’t half bad either, a man could get used to that sort of welcome.” His smile could actually be heard through his composed tone of voice.

A snort escaped her, it was so typical of him to make light of even the most serious of situations, but her shame still remained the stronger player in the game he was trying to coax her into.

“Look, I don’t know if what I saw was actually meant for my eyes and all and I respect you enough to pretend this didn’t happen, but I just need to make sure you’re okay. Maybe you would’ve preferred me to just leave you be and pretend nothing happened, but I would hate for you to feel uncomfortable. I did see a bit, I can’t lie, it was some nice bits. But if it wasn’t for my eyes to see I will give you the option for us both to pretend it never happened.”

The thought spiraling in her head were too much to process for a mere mortal, the respect, the consideration of her feelings, the way her chest felt like it was caving in and blooming all at once. She didn’t know what to make of herself in that moment. All she knew for sure was that she wasn’t letting him go anywhere.

Her skin met the back of his robes, she didn’t seemingly have any part in the decision-making leading her forward but instead her instincts had simply flung her forward. The fabric of his robe felt thicker than she had expected, like velvet but worn down slightly from use.

Words betrayed her, there simply wasn’t any suitable to her wants, all she knew in that moment was action, her palpitations leading her forward as if his skin was her one source of power.

Her fingers found their way beneath his ribs, finding their ways up to his collarbones as her lips explored his gorgeous neck. The blanket covering her had fallen to the ground and the rubbing of the fabric of his cape against her nipples were practically painful at that moment.

He had yet to make any response vocally, but his breath had sped up during her search and she could feel his heart speed up from her tongue probing along the artery in his neck as her tongue explored it.

She loved him, she had for the longest time but she had been terrified to show it. This action, this desperation she felt as she wished to get as close to him as she humanly could, it could cost her so much. But in that moment, all she could think about was the scent of his skin, his kind brown eyes that she couldn’t meet as she clung onto him. It was torturous, but it felt like her only chance to show him how her heart yearned for him.


	4. What makes a woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I did a double lie sadly, this isnt the last chapter and I didnt post it on time. I hope you will forgive me but since this is written from the heart and raw in a way that Ive never written before it just seems to come the way it wishes. I still hope you guys enjoy it and continue to stay safe <3

Fear, it led her forward, like adrenaline pumped on by recklessness. She wanted to somehow translate through touch alone how she felt as she snaked around his body like a woman parched at an oasis. She couldn’t rightly say what had taken over her, what made her feel quite this reckless, but logic escaped her as her nimble fingers and curious tongue explored him.  
  
He simply let her, stoic against her wishes as her fingers found their way around his chest, her breasts pressing up against his back.  
  
She’d never felt quite as bold before, never felt quite as _enthusiastic_ before, all that drove her was her need. Her heart screaming as if it would shatter at a moments notice if he didn’t just turn around to embrace her.  
  
Just as her heart felt like it was bursting into pieces at his disinterest she felt the strong pull at his stronger hands finding her wrists, pulling her around and pushing her up against the nearby wall.  
  
Her eyes looked down, so brave but so scared all at once as she thought to face him. Like a mixture of an adult woman wanting to show her love but with the capability of a mere teenage girl to lead her forward. She was closer to 30 than 20, but somehow emotionally she didn’t feel like it as she felt his gaze burn into her naked body.  
  
“You are so beautiful” he stuttered, his breath hot on the side of her cheek, his thumb going to stroke her wrist reassuringly.  
  
“I don’t want you to act on this urge of yours unless you are absolutely sure my dear, I would never put you in a position of shame knowingly, but we will need to work together after this. Fate is a cruel mistress and all that shit the nightmother teaches.”  
  
A tear spilled down her cheek, she didn’t feel forced by any means, but this vulnerability, the way he didn’t simply pounce at the opportunity when she felt so incredibly vulnerable. It got to her, like a dagger licking along the side of her heart. She had never felt such a loving touch before and it terrified her, it made her want to lash out.  
  
She felt something turning inside of her, something more carnal building in her chest, like an animal caught in a cage after years of abuse with a keeper reaching a hand out, a hope, a love without conditions along with it.  
  
It was simply too much, her mouth sought out his exposed neck and bit down, hard, enough to where she felt the taste shed experienced as a child biting coins to see it they were the real deal.  
  
Trust? It wasn’t something she knew, all she could identify was her carnal instincts.  
  
He gasped, let out a sound reminiscent of a growl, or a muffled scream? She couldn’t tell the difference as she somehow wanted him dead and inside of her all at the same time.  
  
His touch went from a considerate firm to a painful grip as he brought her down to the cold floor beneath them, he overpowered her on the count of his weight and strength alone.  
  
There was no longer any consideration, no longer anything close to human intimacy in play as their bodies seemed to intertwine due to the stress brought onto their struggle alone.  
  
He seemed confused, angry, maybe aroused since she felt a sudden hardness nestled along her thigh as he found his way between them. He didn’t move to act on it, he simply held her down and did his best to wrestle his neck out of her bite.  
  
It was all rather unsexy had she thought about it later on, she had intended to somewhat forcefully show her true feelings but he didn’t seem content with actions alone. Like a saber cat correcting its young he instead seemed intent to soothe, using his own bodyweight to push her down rather than to simply claim her the way she _wanted_ him to.  
  
Somehow it felt pitiful, she had gone from crying, to aggression, to crying once more and then back to aggression and it was all because he wouldn’t simply prey on her vulnerability.  
  
She had to rethink her way or approaching this, but she had never been one for words. Being pinned down this way was like a next level of humiliating, she wasn’t drunk (god, part of her wished she had been, maybe it would’ve been easier to deal with this humiliation if she was.)  
  
Mustering whatever pride she could find, pinned down, naked under this fully clothed man who seemingly didn’t want to take her actions as a hint she struggled to speak to him.  
  
“Please” She stuttered, red in the face, looking away from his face  
  
He met her plea with silence, probably still angered and recovering from the newfound wound on his neck. It seemed a fair response considering his former respectful nature that she had met with violence.  
  
They remained like that, him ever cruel in his silence and stillness and her battling her own remaining pride. Telling him how she felt out loud? Somehow death seemed a preferable choice, the emotional vulnerability seemed more daunting than any physical pain she had felt to date.  
  
Finally she gave in to herself, not as much due to emotional maturity as much as simple impatience.  
  
“I love you.” She mumbled, quietly enough where she heard herself which she figured was good enough. He could hear what he wanted to, that was his problem.  
  
“What was that?” His voice rang painfully clearly, the low rasp of his voice somehow vibrating through her core as he held her down.  
  
Her stomach dropped, she wanted to squirm and leave this terrible situation behind at any cost. Why had she ever thought she could face him? What had made her so bold beforehand when her words seemed impossible to muster. She wanted to cry, to kick and scream like a child being denied sweets at the market.  
  
God knew why she of all people had earned his respect and that thought made her collect herself in shame. She needed to be worthy of this mans trust if she wanted anything more than for him to remove himself. She was just so scared, terrified beyond words that she knew of no other way to show it than to lash out.  
  
Feeling her tears return, small silent spills along the side of her cheeks, things she hoped he wouldn’t see, she gathered herself one last time, preparing herself fully for the no she was about to receive.  
  
“I love you” she said once more, her voice as clear as she could muster, loud enough where he must’ve heard it.  
  
She wanted to turn her ears off waiting for a response, she wasn’t the prettiest girl anyone had ever seen by any means. There was nothing about her special enough as to where men would swoon at her feet, she wouldn’t say she was ugly, but she knew that she’d most likely scared him off on account of her fear alone. He who was so seemingly sure of himself, so steadfast and kind even when she was at her worst. She didn’t deserve a yes, didn’t deserve for him to accept her feelings.  
  
Keeping her face from his, as far as she could, she suddenly felt a warm palm stroking along her cheek, guiding her.  
  
It was simply too much, she fought it as she felt her crying turn more ferocious, it was embarrassingly fierce under his touch.  
  
She could hear him sigh, his palm trying to turn away, but her hand flew up to force him to stay. Somehow, she could’ve guessed she must’ve sending him 87 signals all at once.  
  
Then he chuckled, the most warm rumbling sound she could’ve ever imagine.  
  
“You are a very confusing woman, you know that?” His kind smile could somehow be heard through his words and it made her heart flutter.  
  
Palpitations – she could feel them ringing in her ears like loving reminders of her hearts wishes.  
  
A final surge of adrenaline shone through and she slowly turned her head, meeting those kind dark brown orbs she’d grown to love head on.  
  
His smile turned brighter, his teeth shining and creating a beautiful contrast to his dark features in the dark.  
  
“There you are” he whispered, as if it was the most natural of things for him to say  
  
Feeling her own smile overtake her she grabbed his cheeks and brought him down to where their lips touched.  
  
His soft chuckle before their lips met made her chest turn in on itself, she didn’t know what could’ve ever made her worthy of such happiness as the one she felt in that moment.  
  
Her lips meeting his was like a sweet embrace, impossibly soft yet chapped lips meeting first with the unsure touches of teenagers, exploring the tender nature of the situation. But soon it turned more intense as she opened her mouth tentatively, hoping he’d catch on.  
  
And he did – finding her tongue quickly and enveloping it with his own, sucking it into his mouth softly making her aching cunt even wetter than before.  
  
This infuriatingly respectful man, this man that had wanted a yes, that had waited patiently for her heart to make its mind up, he suddenly seemed to feel that same hunger that she was.  
  
  



	5. What it comes down to

She couldn’t get enough of the sheer euphoria surging through her body, it was more than she’d ever been deserving of, but somehow that didn’t seem to stop her. Wherever his skin met hers it felt like a fiery spell surging through her bloodstream, his touch on her felt right, terrifyingly right.

There was a part of her that felt like struggling against it once more out of sheer fear, life had taught her that if something seemed too good to be true it most likely wasn’t, but as his tongue sought its way to meet hers all she wanted to do was give in, no matter if this dream-like fantasy was meant to last or no. No matter how bad it would hurt to let him go down the line.

Closing her eyes, she finally felt her courage come back in bursts, leading her fingers to seek out the sides of his face. The scratchiness of his trimmed beard against her fingertips a constant reminder of his presence.

Somehow it was still too intimate, somehow her self-defenses wanted to make sure there was something without vulnerability to hold onto, so she sought out the hardness she felt pressed against her thigh, using her hand as a sort of grounding device.

Sex made sense, emotions didn’t, he made sense, her love for him made sense, but her vulnerability didn’t and god somehow just hearing his breathing speed up caused emotions within her she didn’t even know herself capable of feel.

Hearing him growl and then feeling him pull back she responded with a soft moan of her own, he somehow acted as if her mind was easily read, and that may very well be true. He wasn’t a man of many words but he always seemed very aware of what she was thinking, doing, a part of her secretly hoped it was because she may be special to him.

“My dearest” his voice rumbled against her ear, causing her to shiver and for goosebumps to form along her skin “give yourself to me, and I will in turn do my best to let your fears disperse.”

There simply were no words for the happiness combined with discomfort that she felt when hearing those words. He could sense her fears still, fuck, she needed to just breathe, why was she so scared anyhow?!

She steadied herself, at this point the cat and mouse game had led her far enough where there were no way of her leaving unscathed. Her fears had to be met and if it would leave her with a broken heart at least she would have given it her all while finding out.

Her body met his wholeheartedly, her hips did a quick thrust towards his and she blushed as she parted from him shortly just to mutter with a voice that came out much more stuttery than she’d hoped “I am yours, we can wait, we can give in, but that fact won’t change” and it was true, fear filling her chest or no.

Turning her gaze up to meet his eyes fully she was taken back by how sincere his dark pools of brown felt, how their kindness seemed to move her, deep dark orbs so thoroughly focused on her it was as if she was the only other person in the world to him, even if it was just for a moment.

His gaze fell as if he too found some kind of limit at just how intimate this situation was turning, instead meeting her responses with soft kisses at the side of her neck, caresses steadily searching their way up the side of her body, his rugged hands meeting her naked breast, and god, the moan she let out at just that slight affirmation that he wanted her too was enough to ring throughout the sanctuary.

It seemed that her confirmation, her confession and her work to get it out in the open had paid off. But his lack of a verbal response had her anxiety filling her up again like a form of poison she wished more than anything for herself to be able to shake.

There was nothing more she could do to steady her own heart any further however, so she simply gave in to its desires, letting her fingers trail the back of his broad shoulders, admiring the way she could feel his muscles work as he made quick work of ridding himself of his garb to where he was suddenly more exposed than she’d ever seen him.

He had kept his trousers on, his boots, but his hair and upper body were exposed for her eyes to see. He was surprisingly muscular, she’d expected a more taunt appearance considering his way of fighting, but he seemed to have a body more akin to someone who saw his opponents head on.

His hair surprisingly wasn’t really black, more akin to a very dark reddish brown, and taking him in fully seemed like getting to know him anew, just in a different light. But then she found herself being childishly amazed at how his nipples were a shade or two darker than the rest of him, her own leaning more towards a peachy color contrasting against the almost stark white tone of her skin. It was a bit of a struggle holding back from laughing at herself at just how ignorant she felt, but now simply wasn’t the time.

Catching her in the act of admiring the newly exposed parts of him he chuckled, the warm yet knowing tone of voice also somehow felt new. She was acting and feeling as if she was a virgin all over again. (Might as well have been, considering just how long it had been.)

Suddenly she didn’t know where to put her hands, her tongue, everything seemed out of place at the sheer sight of him. Her eyes fell onto his lips, slightly more pink than the rest of him, her heart ached thinking about having finally felt them against hers.

Anticipation made a common theme for them, neither seeming to be bold anymore, having suddenly realized their situation, there wasn’t anything more keeping them apart.

He seemed unsure too, rising up to where he was sat upright with his legs inbetween hers, a man usually so sure of himself now stood at a standstill. His eyes gazing over her, as if he too suddenly had forgotten how to act. He had been the one keeping them there until now, not allowing her to fuck it up, but now she felt it was her turn to return the favor.

Rising up to meet him she caressed his cheek, planting soft kisses on his lips, incredibly and disgustingly tender motions meant to somehow nonverbally translate to him how deeply she felt for him, finally feeling herself relax.

It was like being a virgin again, awaiting that first feeling of pressure against her now sopping wet cunt

She wanted this more than words could describe, feeling so incredibly filled with both her love and animal desire for him.

His fingers explored along the outside of her lips, seeking entry into her mouth all of a sudden and she obliged tenderly, sucking onto his fingers lightly, but then having her own desires turning her sucking motions more deep, eager, hard.

If his breathing could sound as if it stuttered that was what she could hear as a reaction to her wantonness.

His fingers trailed down with his now wetted fingers, she somehow knew already there simply wasn’t any need for added moisture, but in his tender handling of her he hadn’t checked beforehand.

When his fingers made contact with her slit he muttered a very low “fuck” and it was the sexiest sound she’d ever heard.

Feeling her up like something very fragile but fascinating his fingers trailed up and down along her folds, every so often making contact with her already overstimulated clit. It was almost bordering on painful how badly she wanted him to just speed up and fuck her like the whore she wanted to be, just for him.

He chuckled, as if pleased by her high strung responses to whatever he did, his cockiness had never seemingly needed any help before, but now he seemed to consider whatever movement he made carefully before acting on it.

“You make me feel powerless in a way I’ve never quite experienced before my sweet, I hope you will not take offense at me cherishing this moment for as long as I can.” He mumbled, making her blush strike brighter

Those words aside he too seemed to already be at his limit, feeling just how ready and yearning she was for him, knowing her feelings before even having had her.

He lifted her one leg gently, hooking his arm underneath it as he adjusted himself to where his cock aligned with her opening, like he too was growing impatient with the uncertainty of the situation.

Looking up to meet her eyes once more and finding her cheeks reddened, her mouth half open and forgotten in the face of her passion for him he finally moved forward.

At the first little bit of tension as her walls made way for him, she swore she might have already been on the verge of an orgasm.

The delicious strain of him opening her up, of her walls making way for his cock to nestle its way inside her while simultaneously hugging onto him for dear life was like a mixture of pain and pleasure.

It was somehow filthy in just how focused she was on just that first entry.

He let out a soft moan, a sound almost feminine in its powerlessness. Her eyes darted up to watch his face and she saw his eyes clamped shut, face turned down as if incredibly focused, noticing that a small unbearingly sexy wrinkle had formed inbetween his brows.

”Fuck, its like its hugging onto me.” He muttered, a sort of powerlessness to his voice that made her eyes want to go back into her head.

His strokes started off at a disgustingly slow pace, her moans soft but trickled with just how badly she wanted him to ram into her. The painful anticipation of her orgasm building up inside of her, longing for him to speed up so that her release could finally be met.  
  


Somehow it also started off an animalistic urge inside of her, she wanted him to come inside of her. Somehow the delicious idea of him marking her took over her entire mind. It didnt make any sort of sense, she didnt want a baby she just wanted to feel like she fully _belonged_ to him.

Her hips went up to meet his, probably ruining a bit of the tenderness of the moment in her urge to speed the strain of him up.

He growled in response, pushing her down forcefully as if nonverbally letting her know that she needed to let him take the lead, or else this encounter would be done a lot sooner.  
  


Somehow the pressure, the pleasure, the extensive need for him she felt just didn’t act as enough for him as he lifted her up and brought her along somewhere with him.

Not knowing his thought process nor his final destination of choice she simply hid her head at the side of his neck as he carried her, knowing that if anyone DID see them through the sanctuary there weren’t enough people for there to be any sense of doubt regqarding who the naked woman he carried’s identity was.

Sensing his footsteps she didn’t heighten her head as to let herself get a heads up regarding where he took her, she simply felt him walk back and fourth, his length still pumping blood inside of her as if it was his heart alone making love to her.

Finally they reached his destination of choice, a place in the sanctuary where she’d never been nor even seen anyone enter. It held a large circular bed and a giant mirror. She couldn’t have figured out its use if she had tried, but yet here she were, looking up onto the ceiling and being met with the sight of every inch of her own body displayed like a prized piece of meat.

The room fell silent for a bit as he laid her down gently, showing the opening of all of her displayed as clear as day before her, his voice an almost taken aback like chuckle as he much like herself leaned his head upwards as to take her in, before he joined her on the bed, standing on his knees like a man getting ready to worship at an altar.

He let out slow chuckles, much like a small boy delighted with exploring a long wanted for toy, it sent jolts of excitement as well as fear throughout her body as his hands explored her, prodded her, turned her the way he wished for and somehow it felt wonderful as he did it.

The mirror provided her with a sense of shame as soon as she realized he was intentionally turning her body so that he could take all of her in, he turned her over with soft and encouraging movements as to where she was stood on all fours. They were both stood on their knees standing up, him behind her with his cock stroking softly up and down against her ass, his eyes focused on only her as his one arm held her steady and pressed up against her from underneath her breasts. Pushing them lewdly up for only his dark eyes to take in, the soft smile he wore was positively filthy. His other hand grazed along the outside of her thigh.

She turned her head away, cheeks turning red and brow furrowed, she felt too exposed, too vulnerable somehow.

His chuckle at the reactions she let out were a mere taste of what laid before her as he turned her over, as if he knowing he could see her on all fours weren’t enough of a vulnerable position as is.

It was as if his focus was on her having no way to avoid the truth of what was being done using her consent, her body, as if it was a reminder of her wants were he didn’t want her to escape from her needs anymore. Like he could see her shame and wanted her to overcome it, not through force but through respectful affection.

She still felt fearful, once more avoiding his gaze as she looked up at the ceiling just to see his dark eyes meeting hers head on. His were so gorgeous, dark enough where enlarged pupils weren’t even noticeable but rich enough as to where if the light hit them enough she felt swallowed up in a pool of warmth.

He didn’t allow her that sense of escaping that she sought out when turning away however, using the hand previously on her thigh to soft cup her chin and turn it back to where she could see herself exposed for him.

”Do not turn your eyes away from what we are doing right here my dear”

His voice rumbled, soft and caring but with that raspy unfocused undertone still heavy. He was still doing his best to keep her comfortable while splaying her out like a very expensive cut of meat.

”I want your eyes here” he demanded, letting the hand he held on her face drop to her cunt, using two fingers to shamelessly part the front of her labia to expose her clitoris to both of their eyes.

Her neck jerked in an instinct to move away but she did her best to steady herself, feeling the burning gaze of him on her. She had never felt such shame, such complete powerlessness, but god she wanted it. He had made it very clear that he would stop if she expressed a dislike in what he was doing but fuck, she didnt want him to stray from whatever his mind came up with in the slightest.

”Replace my hand with yours and keep yourself exposed to me my sweet” he muttered sweetly, kissing her shoulder softly as the arm holding her to him travelled down to hold onto the side of her hip.

She did as she was asked, causing him to release a soft chuckle in approval

”Good girl” he mused, and god she wanted to punch him right then

He lifted her without warning, spreading her legs to where all of her was now exposed, lodging his own legs between hers to keep them apart and for her to lean on.

The thought of further shame mixed with slight discomfort at having to keep herself up barely had time to register as he used his now free hand to align himself once more with her entrance, this time where she could see exactly what was happening in front of her. The soft head of his cock almost tickleing her in just how softly he was stroking it up and down her aching cunt.

Her eyes locked onto the mirror, the sensation being amplified by seeing his hand working, the dark contrast of his cock and the pink of her exposed cunt, and then that soft push as he one more spread her open.

The initial positions discomfort waned as he helped hold her up just to connect with her pussy once more, only to then slam down.

Her soft moans and delight in feeling so completely exposed for him could probably be heard throughout the sanctuary. She was feeling a slight burn on the inside of her thighs at just how eagerly she was spreading her legs for him.

His calloused hands on the back of her hips drove her mad, the violent ways he grabbed onto her ass for it to meet with his hips harder, faster.

”You would look real pretty like that, knocked up, bred like a prized mare. Those curves of yours spilling out in preparation for that child - my child.”

The possessive tone in which he said my child caused her to spasm, her cunt clenched up around him as if releasing an orgasm that hadnt had a chance to build up enough yet. Her legs already felt like jelly and the pleasure was bordering on painful in just how overstimulated she was and how she didnt want it to stop no matter what.

”Yes, please Nazir, please use me, oh god I want you to knock me up, I want you to mark me as yours again and again. I want to be heavy with your child and still do my best to take you inside me as often as I can. I want to be your filthy whore, please oh god come inside me, Im so close”

He chuckled once more, ever seemingly sure of himself although panting as if the simple act of breathing had escaped him.

Simply smiling in a way she’d never seen him smile at her before he held her incredibly close, holding onto her hips as his moans turned into growls as he spilled inside of her. She took comfort in the momentary warmth she felt as she experienced him fully, atleast physically, hoping somewhere deep down that maybe – just maybe, this could be more down the line.


End file.
